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Hippocratic Oath of a Social Media Manager: 30 Commandments

| Posted in category Communities Internet Marketing Social Media Uncategorized

Some snobs say Social Media managers are useless staff and get their salaries for the job that could have been distributed between other departments with no harm. I will not fight with them (no, not today) and would rather suggest we imagined that SMM was as important as medicine for instance.

Imagine, you've entered the university to study SMM and now you're about to say your Hippocratic Oath. How will it look like?

social media oath

To the community:

  1. I shall not start any holy war and lose 4 hours of my working day just because someone is wrong on the internet.
  2. I shall not ignore/ delete users' comments or pretend like I've been kidnapped by the UFO and say it as a reason for not answering comments, messages, etc.
  3. I shall treat my Social Media fans as my family members and put their concerns ahead of my personal ones. Yes, I do agree that I can drink this cup of coffee later.
  4. I promise to answer users' questions ASAP. The only exception is when the truck with iPads runs over me. In this case I'll answer 20 minutes later.
  5. I promise to be online 24/7 or pretend that I am online 24/7 and will cover my back so that no one will ever be able to understand when I am really online and when I am sleeping in my bed.
  6. I shall never ever lie except for special cases.*
  7. I promise not to spam my users with too many company promo materials. Period. No sarcasm here, I hate such things as a consumer too.
  8. I swear I am not cheating to get traffic, thinking about cheating to get traffic or preparing for another traffic scam scheme.
  9. I will work hard to create relevant, helpful and unique content even though I have other responsibilities too. Hey, who needs 8-hour sleep anyway?
  10. I shall not buy fake likes, tweets, followers, re-tweets and speculate on national tragedies to make an emotional amoral ad in hurricane Katrina style.

*

  • When the truth will make a user spit saliva and experience a severe heart attack. No, I do not refuse to take my responsibility; I just don't think my medical insurance will ever be enough to cover it.
  • When the truth will make my company look like an idiot and even sincere apologies will be unproductive in making a situation better.
  • If I have to blame a competitor or any company I work with and there's a chance that it might look like blackmailing. No one will still believe me without proofs and I will make another company look like an idiot and will create a new enemy.
  • When any truthful thing I say will make someone look like an idiot. Even if they ARE idiots.
  • I never knew myself I was telling lies.

To the employer:

  1. I shall provide my reports on time and shall take the responsibility for my misery/ extraordinary results.
  2. I shall not ask for salary review each time I launch a successful SMM campaign. I'll do this after each second successful campaign.
  3. I promise not to work from home more than two (three?) times a week explaining it as ''I’ve got all I need at home and this all is Internet Connection''.
  4. I promise that all those funny videos I watch at work are purely for work-related issues.
  5. I shall stick to your company for as long as you need me (which is normally forever) unless**
  6. I shall monitor corporate accounts on social media on week-ends, national holidays, during my vacation and will never complain about it. To you. But my husband/wife will not be so lucky.
  7. I will never say Social Media ROI is impossible to count. Even if I really think so.
  8. I shall be an inspiration for the rest of marketing team, will produce content ideas and keep them alerted on what's happening in the industry. They will never admit it's an important function but I promise to be OK with that.
  9. I promise to carefully follow social networks guidelines and avoid violating them in fear of being deleted or banned. The exception will be the case when you yourself are asking me to violate these guidelines.
  10. I will make our company a Social Media rock star.

**

  • You treat SMM as a new vagary of modern marketing and say there's no benefit in it at all, but you have to do it too because everyone else does.
  • Constantly say you don't know what exactly I am doing at work and don't even care to check corporate profiles on social networks.
  • You think SMM is just another selling source.
  • You refuse to provide me with 2nd monitor at the office. Seriously, have you seen how many tabs there are in my browser? Now imagine that I have 3 browsers running at one time.

To him/herself:

  1. I will always remember that I have an opinion of my own and that it's absolutely normal that sometimes it doesn't coincide with a view of my company.
  2. If my beliefs and principles differ too much from my company policies and methods I will leave it before I lose myself.
  3. I will try to remember that there's life behind Social Media and will communicate to people offline too.
  4. I will adapt my writing style to become a valuable guest author but I will never write things I don't believe in or things I haven't properly checked just to get published.
  5. I will always react very fast to any comments/ questions users ask me or my company, but there are some cases when I'll never do that and will postpone my answers for a better time***
  6. I will have an 8-hour sleep at least once per week.
  7. I will be company ears, voice and soul on Social Media. However I will always be more on users' side than on my company's one. Sorry, I am somebody's user too.
  8. Still I will always remember that it's just a job. Important, funny, enjoyable, sometimes frustrating but still a job and “You are not your job”.
  9. I. Will. Have. Fun.
  10. I shall be there for my community to protect them, love them, cherish them, and make them feel special, loved and cared.

 ***

  • I am having a barbecue party where almost all my friends are gathered and are extremely happy that I am finally offline with them.
  • I am playing with my 3-year-old niece. Come on, I strongly doubt you would have abandoned a child to write an angry comment on Social Media. If you've ever done this, you've turned to a wrong path in life.
  • My mom called me and asked whether I am still alive. Naturally, a simple ''yes'' answer hasn't satisfied her loving soul.
  • Apocalypse.

Well, what do you think? Will you dare to take such a responsibility and promise all those things? And most importantly, will you be able to keep them?



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